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Gearheart Challenge: Odd-er Jobs?

by on Apr.13, 2009, under News

And now for this week’s challenge:

There’s no doubt that there’s something odd about Wallaby, Buskerton & Crust, but what would be an even odder assassin? An ex-Mouseketeer who throws his ears like Oddjob? A masseuse who massages you… to DEATH?

When you get your answer, whisper it in the ear of a newly-deceased corpse, draw a circle of sugar around the body and light it on fire… the sugar or the body, whichever. Then realize that you’ve committed a felony, and post your original answer to the comments section of this post. I’ll read my favorites on the air next week.

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5 Comments for this entry

  • Morning Toast

    For effect, super glue the victim’s hands to each side of their head, then slice off their head. That way when people show up the victim will be holding their own severed head! Oooo…gruesome! The assassin could be called the “Headless Hunter,” ooooo, menacing!

  • Johnnie A

    El Marxo is the assassin who, with the help of nano-bots and psychic powers, can instigate a small Marxist revolution in the area around the victim within minutes. Within the small time-frame the victim would be labeled both a parasite and a member of the bourgeoisie, after which he or she would get guillotined. The people who participated in the execution would then wander around the site of the crime scene for hours, unable to account for their actions, or their sudden need to purchase something with a Che Guevara picture on it. Off course El Marxo would not be able to maintain such a small Socialist state for long; the nanomachines cease to function after about fifteen minutes and psychic action takes a lot of him, which is why he’s stuck at being a third-rate assassin with debatable command of the Spanish language. Still his efficiency is ruthless and takes most of his victims by surprise, striking fear into their hearts! And, off course, he wears red!

  • odin1eye

    Odd assassin? Not sure. The perfect assassin. That is easier.

    He’s the guy in the office who, without any encouragement, has to share every little mundane experience of his evening/weekend/family/life in great detail.

    All that would be required is that he provide the listener with a loaded boom dagger first, and he could walk away guiltless every time. (Of course, depending on the mark, a good bullet proof vest might be a good investment.)

  • Derrick Condor

    Odd, you say? Son, in all my travels I never saw a hired killer odder that the Singing Slaughterer. He wore a flamboyant coat of ivory-white fabric, upon which was emblazoned a collection of musical notes. The man’s face was covered in a mask shaped like a b flat, which concealed a small stiletto he used in emergencies.

    But the oddest thing the Singing Slaughterer did was to craft a song out of the grievances his client had against his target. Why, I remember when he attacked the diplomat from Brazil at a formal ball held by the Queen Victoria. He sang a beautiful tune about the terrible conditions that the diplomat’s servants endured at his manor as the poison he’d placed in the diplomat’s drink worked its magic. There was not a dry eye in the audience when the Slaughterer was finished, I’ll tell you that much.

  • Alex White

    Hey, Derrick! Welcome! How did you find the place?

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